


A Great Title for a Great Trio

by BlueBird_1323



Category: LEGO Ultra Agents
Genre: Crude Humor, Gen, Inappropriate Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBird_1323/pseuds/BlueBird_1323
Summary: Terabyte, in a fit of wanting to make himself seem more important, gathers his coworkers to come up with a title for their group. Invizable thinks he’s helping. He isn’t.
Kudos: 2





	A Great Title for a Great Trio

“I’d like to thank you all for coming, as I believe this is quite important.” Terabyte stated factually, strolling at the end of the meeting table in a stately manner. He turned abruptly to the only other people in the room, a somewhat unsure smile on his face. “We all _are_ here, right?”

“You can count, can’t’cha?” Invizable asked, his tone saying everything his expression lacked.

“Of course!” Terabyte sputtered, “Of course I can, you dim wit! I...I’m just checking. Any who, we’re all here. Let’s get this started.” He continued, quickly snapping back into his usual demeanour.

“This better be good.” Toxikita growled as she absentmindedly rolled an acid bomb under her index finger.

“Well,” Terabyte started, fixing his posture. “It is, in my opinion.”

“If you say so.”

“So!” Terabyte turned swiftly to the others, slamming his hands on the table. “We need a group name.”

“What.” Toxikita asked emotionlessly, raising an eyebrow. “You _must_ be joking.”

“Yeah I gotta admit, that sounds like a stupid idea.” Invizable shrugged, leaning against the chair Toxikita was sitting in. Terabyte frowned, which quickly turned into a scowl of annoyance. 

“Of course.” He muttered while he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now hear me out before you come to any irrational conclusions. We all can agree that out of the villains that AntiMatter has, er, ‘hired’, we are the most powerful. Agreed?”

“Yes.”

“Yup.”

“Now,” Terabyte said after a small sigh. “Us being in a position of power, in a group, we should have some sort of name or codename to differentiate us even more from the mouth-breathers.” He looked to them with a devious and crooked smile. “To put it simply, I am suggesting we give ourselves a title.”

Toxikita paused, glancing up with a curious look. “So... another way to basically assert our authority.”

“Essentially, yes!” Terabyte grinned. Toxikita began rolling the bomb again, but locked her bright green eyes on Terabyte’s face.

“I’m in, even if this sounded stupid at first.”

“Excellent!” He clapped his hands together and turned to Invizable, smiling. “And what about you?”

“Well...” Invizable drawled, crossing his arms against his chest. “I don’t see no issue with it. Plus, all good and well-known criminals have some sorta codename.”

“Haha, yes! Superb!” Terabyte cackled, but quickly regained his composure and placed his hands back on the table. “Now, if any of you have recommendations, I am very open to ideas. I, myself, am thinking about something like an abbreviation. It’s something small, but stands for something much more large and important. And _this_ is representative of our roles in this whole thing. We are, sadly, a smaller part of a much bigger picture.”

A silence fell over them before Toxikita scoffed, rolling her eyes theatrically. “Cut the shit, hacker boy. If we want some stupid name, I want it to be credible. Something short, intimidating. Not stupid.”

“Do you have any other ideas?” Terabyte asked dryly, scowling.

“Hmm...” She paused, resting her chin on her open palm, “No. You haven’t been quiet enough and for long enough to let me think.”

“Why you—“

“How ‘bout ‘tit’?” Invizable asked. The other two fell into silence, staring at their invisible coworker with astonishment and disdain. 

After a moment of silence, Terabyte finally asked, “I beg your _fucking_ pardon?”

“Going to have to agree with him there.” Toxikita snapped, narrowing her eyes. “Invizable, I’m sure I love women as much as you do, but _please_. We’re professionals. And not to mention, we don’t want to be laughing stocks.”

“The lessers already do that to us...” Terabyte grumbled.

“Now hang on y’all, just listen!” Invizable scrambled, holding out his arms. “Let me explain!”

“I’ve lost enough braincells, thank you.” Terabyte scoffed. Invizable ignored this.

“Okay so listen. T.I.T.—“

“Please shut up.” Toxikita groaned.

“I ain’t talking about boobs, y’all shut it!” He yelled. The other two remained silent, but continued to glare. “Thank you. Now Terabyte, you said you wanted an abbreviation, right?”

“Affirmative, I did.”

“And Toxikita!” Invizable pointed to her. “You said you wanted somethin’ short n’ sweet.”

“Yes. You missed the ‘intimidating’ part.”

“Well! T.I.T. is a combination of the two! Firstly, T.I.T. is short and memorable, and secondly it’s an abbreviation. T.I.T. is an abbreviation of our names. ‘Terabyte, Invizable, and Toxikita’.”

Toxikita narrowed her eyes and growled.

“Er uh, ‘ _Toxikita_ , Invizable, and Terabyte’.” Invizable corrected himself.

Terabyte let out a very long and heavy sigh. “Invizable, there are not enough words in all existing languages, both real and fictional—“

“Shut-in.” Toxikita mocked. Terabyte rolled his eyes and continued on.

“As I was saying, there are not enough languages, nor binary codes, nor sign languages that exist to express how utterly _insulted_ I am by all of that.” Terabyte sighed again and dragged his hands down his cheeks. “We... we’ll talk about this later, Toxikita.”

“Hey!” Invizable exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips. Terabyte had already begun leaving the room, muttering under his breath.

“Idiot, complete idiot, how does he even manage to dress himself...”

—————————————————————————————

“Hey Acid!” Spyclops cheered and he crawled down from the air ducts like the cyborg human-spider he was, jumping down to the ground. “You would not believe what I just heard!”

Adam Acid didn’t even have to look up from the worn newspaper he had been trying to read to know who was talking to him. The Brooklyn accent gave it away in an instant.

“What’s up?” Adam asked, tilting his head. Spyclops could barely contain his rising laughter.

“Just so happened to hear the three ego-teers talkin’ about tryin’ to make a name for their little posse! And geez! They, they...they!—“ He erupted into a fit of cackles, collapsing onto a table.

“What?” Adam asked again, fighting back laughter but failing.

“Invizable wanted to call ‘em tits!” Spyclops wheezed, smiling as much as his half robotic face could let him. Adam burst into laughter.

“ _What?!_ Really?!”

“Ya heard me, Acid! He...he wanted!—“ He couldn’t even finish his sentence without erupting into laughter. Adam Acid joined in, grinning and snickering like a schoolboy who just learned the word ‘fuck’.

“What’s so funny?” A voice asked from behind the two. Adam Acid tried to catch his breath to explain.

“Invizable tried to come up with a group name for him and Terabyte and Toxikita...” Adam giggled.

“And he came up with tits!” Spyclops finished, cackling.

“That so?” The voice asked, but changed drastically into a southern drawl the two knew all too well. Adam _really_ should have looked behind him before talking.

Spyclops jumped to his feet and laughed nervously. “That’s my cue to go!” And scuttled away, up the wall. Adam Acid gulped as he turned around.

“Heh... hey Invizable, fancy seeing you here? Well uh, not _fully_ see! But haha... didn’t know you were here!”

“Let’s talk, Acid.”

“Fuck.”


End file.
